"Don't trade your dreams for some small change."
-U2
The short of it is, I will probably not be working for AdminServer.
I started out the discussion by telling the C.O.O. that I appreciated the offer and I thought we had a good match between them and me. I listed some ways I could benefit the company and some of the ways they could benefit me. He was ready at that point to write up an agreement letter and get it out to me. I told him to hold up because I wanted to go over some of the details of the offer first.
I started with the salary. I didn't tell him this, but if I'm going to be selling out my dreams I want good money for them, not an unreasonable amount, but enough to make it worth it to me. I told him what number I had in mind and how it was justified based on my experience, and he told me that number wasn't possible. We met not quite in the middle, but closer to his figure. He didn't want to budge much at all. I probably would have been fine with the number we settled on if the rest of the negotiating went in my favor... but that's coming up.
I told him I was happy with the benefits. I did ask if they offered any tuition reimbursement but mainly because I wanted him to tell me no. This way it would look like I'm compromising on something I might want someday in the future. He told me flat out that was something they didn't offer. I told him it wasn't a deal breaker, but the following topic might be...
The start date. I told him even though I downplayed it at the interview, I've been realizing more and more over the last two days that this film project is really important to me. It's something I've always wanted to do and this might be my only opportunity to do it. I also said I made a commitment to it and meant to be good on my word. I told him I couldn't start until July 31, the Monday after the filming was complete. I was firm, and he said this was indeed a deal breaker. Because this is a unique situation and they need me now, either I start right away or I don't start. It was the same spiel he gave me at the interview. He wasn't bluffing.
I told him I could give him a call at the end of July, possibly come in for another meeting, and see if there was still a need for me at that time. He said I was welcome to call, but the impression I got was not really positive. It's pretty clear I passed up my only chance for this job. Even though this is a quickly growing company that supposedly hires a lot of entry level people, some of which only took a single class in Java in college, I think my relationship is now tainted with them and I probably won't get another offer.
I'd like to think that if I was beginning what could be a long career with this company, then it shouldn't be dependent on pushing my start date back a few weeks, but apparently they only wanted me if I could contribute to the Securian project and that window was closing fast. I have no hard feelings toward AdminServer. It was just a case of there being a rush on their end but not on mine.
I've been telling myself I have the rest of my life to work some job but not many opportunities to be on a sabbatical or hiatus like this with the chance to do something satisfying for my creative side. The Minnesota connection at AdminServer was the hardest part to give up, but otherwise I think I can find more opportunities in I.T. if I want them. I just need to see where else I can go first.
I also want to take this chance to say, making the choice I made is only possible thanks to my loving wife who has been more than supportive over this whole ordeal and is okay with me being for a bum for a while longer. She'll be at the top of my thank you list when I win my first academy award.
There you have it. Another door closed, another path chosen. It's been a few hours since the phone call, and I don't have any regrets yet. I wonder how I'll feel about it tomorrow.
On a related note, I officially began my production assistant duties this afternoon by running around Wilmington to pick up some paint, drop off supplies for an upcoming shoot at a dive bar, and find the materials needed to make a wooden sword. It's interesting work alright.
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