Boogie

...that's a weird word when you look at it by itself. The reason I'm using it is because we bought boogie boards on Saturday and spent the day at Rehoboth Beach in southern Delaware. The waves were big, and they broke really close to shore due to a steep drop-off not far out. This of course resulted in us getting pounded on and scraped along the floor. It was fun! Seriously. I'm anxious to try it again.

On Sunday I had to pick up a cargo van and drive it down to Bel Air, Maryland to meet up with the production crew and help them pack up and haul their equipment into Wilmington. They're spending the next six weeks in town for the shoot, which begins today. We have a meeting scheduled for later this morning, and then we're heading over to the courthouse for our first scene. It could be a late night. I'm already finding that this is very time-consuming work, especially with the amount of set-up involved in a production of this size and quality. Cottage Cheese this is not.

Streets of Philadelphia

In an effort to increase my pavement pounding during my last week before beginning a full-time internship, I took a train into Philly yesterday with plans to meet some contacts I've made at an advertising agency called MBC.

Actually, the first thing I did when I arrived downtown was follow a long, windy hall to a nook in a big building close to City Hall where the Greater Philadelphia Film Office resides. These are the people that helped M. Night Shyamalan arrange for the shooting of all of his films; they are also involved with the TV show Cold Case, as well as a bunch of other projects I'm sure you've heard of that were shot in and around Pennsylvania. Anyway, I walked right in there and got only as far as the secretary. She gave me a brochure and told me to check out the website to see if there were any employment opportunities available. It was pretty much what one would expect to happen, but a worthy stop just to say I was there.

The visit at MBC was more productive. I received a tour of the place and met individually with three very helpful, knowledgable guys. They gave me a lot of hope that I can find a job that allows me to use my technical knowledge in combination with my creativity. One guy spoke my thoughts exactly when he talked about the merging technologies of digital video and personal computers. He showed me an example of an interactive video he put together and told me that Flash technology was where it was all happening right now. He said somebody with a communication/computer background could do pretty well for himself in the advertising industry. All he needs is the right opportunity. Yeah, that's what I need.

Another guy I met spoke with me about the future of the Internet. He claimed the way we surf the web is going to change dramatically in the coming years. It's going to move away from being browser-based; instead our PCs will be more fully integrated with the web, and we'll have these little translucent widgets on our desktops... I don't want to repeat the whole discussion here, but take my word for it -- it's exciting stuff. Take a look at this site for an example of what is to come: www.pageflakes.com.

MBC has a lot of creative juices flowing through it. It's a much hipper environment than anywhere I've worked, full of bright colors, dim lighting, artistic people. Knowing that a place like that exists makes me glad I passed on the AdminServer opportunity. As casual and relaxed as AdminServer looked, it was still in an uptight business without much room for stretching one's imagination.

My visit to MBC was not a job interview -- it was strictly informational -- but I hope they keep me in mind if any opportunities arise or if they hear of anybody else hiring. Commuting to Philly everyday is not ideal for me, but it would be worth it for the right job. I think I'll start targeting some ad agencies in Wilmington too. Also on my to do list: relearn Flash and Adobe After Effects.

Painting a wall

The duties of a production assistant are quite varied. Today I picked up 4000 feet of streamers from Party City and then went over to Buddy's Bar to paint a wall. The bar wasn't open yet, but some guy who looked and sounded a lot like Cliff Clavin from Cheers came in to drink three Buds anyway. It turns out he was still on sick leave having just recovered from a cousin of the E. Coli virus (only he called it I. Col-ee). And guess what this guy's profession just happened to be; he was a professional painter. That would have been fine had he jumped in and helped me, but instead he sat there and observed my every stroke of the brush. Since there was nobody else in the bar except the owner (who was in and out of the place really), he didn't have anybody else to distract him from critiquing my technique. It was a good thing I was in top form after having so recently helped paint almost the entire interior of my and R's house. The wall turned out well, and the unlimited access to free soda pop was nice. Next week the production phase of the film begins. That is what I have been waiting for.

Mason

As a good way to get my mind off of my recent life-changing decisions, we went to a Mason Jennings concert in Philly on Friday night. Mason has the distinction of being the artist I have seen perform live the most number of times (still in single digits, I believe, but quickly approaching double). Friday was not my favorite show of his, but it was decent. Standout songs for me were "Some Say I'm Not" and the wildly experimental "Where the Sun Had Been," both from his new album, as well as the couple of tracks he played off Use Your Voice, "Crown" and "Uylsses." I was happy to hear his new stuff because it had been a few years since I'd last seen him play, but it was disappointing that he played very few older songs, and rather than mixing them in with the newer material, he tacked the obligatory "Butterfly" and a half-hearted "Godless" to the end of the encore. That, along with the new drummer screwing up the end of the latter was an off-putting way to end the show. Oh well, the concert was still a treat. I recommend checking out one of his shows if you ever have the chance.

In other entertainment news, we have reactivated our Netflix account! We already watched The Squid and the Whale and Matchpoint. Munich and Shopgirl are up next. I've been feeling a little movie deprived lately, so this is exactly what I need.

Negotiation, or the burning of a bridge

"Don't trade your dreams for some small change."

-U2

The short of it is, I will probably not be working for AdminServer.

I started out the discussion by telling the C.O.O. that I appreciated the offer and I thought we had a good match between them and me. I listed some ways I could benefit the company and some of the ways they could benefit me. He was ready at that point to write up an agreement letter and get it out to me. I told him to hold up because I wanted to go over some of the details of the offer first.

I started with the salary. I didn't tell him this, but if I'm going to be selling out my dreams I want good money for them, not an unreasonable amount, but enough to make it worth it to me. I told him what number I had in mind and how it was justified based on my experience, and he told me that number wasn't possible. We met not quite in the middle, but closer to his figure. He didn't want to budge much at all. I probably would have been fine with the number we settled on if the rest of the negotiating went in my favor... but that's coming up.

I told him I was happy with the benefits. I did ask if they offered any tuition reimbursement but mainly because I wanted him to tell me no. This way it would look like I'm compromising on something I might want someday in the future. He told me flat out that was something they didn't offer. I told him it wasn't a deal breaker, but the following topic might be...

The start date. I told him even though I downplayed it at the interview, I've been realizing more and more over the last two days that this film project is really important to me. It's something I've always wanted to do and this might be my only opportunity to do it. I also said I made a commitment to it and meant to be good on my word. I told him I couldn't start until July 31, the Monday after the filming was complete. I was firm, and he said this was indeed a deal breaker. Because this is a unique situation and they need me now, either I start right away or I don't start. It was the same spiel he gave me at the interview. He wasn't bluffing.

I told him I could give him a call at the end of July, possibly come in for another meeting, and see if there was still a need for me at that time. He said I was welcome to call, but the impression I got was not really positive. It's pretty clear I passed up my only chance for this job. Even though this is a quickly growing company that supposedly hires a lot of entry level people, some of which only took a single class in Java in college, I think my relationship is now tainted with them and I probably won't get another offer.

I'd like to think that if I was beginning what could be a long career with this company, then it shouldn't be dependent on pushing my start date back a few weeks, but apparently they only wanted me if I could contribute to the Securian project and that window was closing fast. I have no hard feelings toward AdminServer. It was just a case of there being a rush on their end but not on mine.

I've been telling myself I have the rest of my life to work some job but not many opportunities to be on a sabbatical or hiatus like this with the chance to do something satisfying for my creative side. The Minnesota connection at AdminServer was the hardest part to give up, but otherwise I think I can find more opportunities in I.T. if I want them. I just need to see where else I can go first.

I also want to take this chance to say, making the choice I made is only possible thanks to my loving wife who has been more than supportive over this whole ordeal and is okay with me being for a bum for a while longer. She'll be at the top of my thank you list when I win my first academy award.

There you have it. Another door closed, another path chosen. It's been a few hours since the phone call, and I don't have any regrets yet. I wonder how I'll feel about it tomorrow.

On a related note, I officially began my production assistant duties this afternoon by running around Wilmington to pick up some paint, drop off supplies for an upcoming shoot at a dive bar, and find the materials needed to make a wooden sword. It's interesting work alright.

Choose your own adventure

I don't really have the time to write. I thought of the above title and just had to use it regarding my current state of affairs. This decision is killing me (or at least hurting me really bad). Both paths I can take are equally appealing and unappealing. You would think that would make the decision easy, right? Nope.

I'm going to bed. Hopefully my dreams show me some sort of sign before I wake.

Crossroads

I need to limit the amount I discuss this topic at least until I make a decision because my business card, one that lists my web site address, is in the hands or pockets of some people with a lot of influence over my life right now. Blogging is great, but I need to keep in mind that everything I write is open for public consumption. I'm banking on the fact that nobody finds my life interesting enough to actually spend the time out of their busy day to give this more than a cursory glance. Let's hope anybody in a position to steer my career, and thus a good chunk of the rest of my life, sees too dense of a page of words here and decides to blur right over them. If they do instead read this in detail, well, then maybe they will make my decision for me, and right now that doesn't sound so bad.

There comes at least one point in everybody's life when one must decide what is truly important to him. I've encountered one of these points before, right before I proposed to my girlfriend, quit my job in St. Paul, and moved to Mobile, Alabama to be with her. I am faced with a doozey of a decision right now, one that needs to be made by Friday, one that could either bring my professional life back full-circle to where it was before I left Minnesota or turn the last two years and my current hiatus into a departure from the business/insurance/programming/analysis world I have been wrestling with since I entered it. Today's events can be interpreted in two ways: (1) as a sign, saying "this is where you should be so quit fighting it and take this perfect opportunity before the stars stop aligning and it is no longer offered," or (2) a test, questioning what I value more, money or career satisfaction. Please note here that if the decision was as clean cut as that, I would go the career satisfaction route. There are other factors and gray areas in my decision to complicate the process. I don't know for sure if I will be unsatisfied working in the high paying job and vice-versa.

Before I go any further, maybe I should fill you in on what I'm talking about, as I'm sure you are thoroughly confused by now. I interviewed with a small company, AdminServer, that is being hired out by Securian, the large insurance company for which I worked in Minnesota. I was given a very attractive offer on the spot to join them as a business analyst and work with/for the same group of people I called my team at my old company. The idea is I would have instant rapport with these people and already have some knowledge of their business systems, so I could make a good liaison right off the bat. To continue the baseball metaphor, I would need to start this job soon because the project is in full swing. Unfortunately this conflicts in a major way with my plans to be a production assistant/intern on a movie shoot from June 19 - July 28. There's no way I can do both. AdminServer told they can't wait for me -- if I want the job, I need to take it now.

See my dilemma? Either direction I go, a bridge is burned. I commited to the internship and it's a week before the shoot. If I back out now the director will probably yell, "I'll see to it that you never work in this town again!" and throw me out the door. Yet I hate to give up such a great opportunity at AdminServer. The job would be perfect in many ways. Part of the job would include travel. And guess where I'd be going -- to Minnesota, of course. Also, if R. and I ever did move back to Minnesota, I think I would have a really good shot of being hired on again by Securian because of my association with AdminServer and their software package, a major one that is going to impact how the whole company functions. It all fits together so well. There's more to it too. I just need to limit myself here. What it comes down to is if I loved the insurance business and wanted to stay in IT for the rest of my life, I would be set. Because I have been wanting to try something different and I have this yearning for more creativity, I might have to give up the money and stability that is currently up for grabs. Continuing the search for a job in video production is much more risky and has led to a lot of deadends already. There's also no way taking that route will pay half as well as the IT route (and probably not include fully paid, annual cruises to the Caribbean either).

That's all I can do for tonight. This decision weighs heavily on me. Any advice?

A quick advertisement for MemorySuppliers.com

If anybody out there is looking to upgrade their computer, I recommend checking out www.MemorySuppliers.com. I just purchased 512MB of RAM from them and found the website to be really easy to use and the prices to be lower than those at Best Buy (I saved $30). They are also giving me an additional $5.00 off for mentioning them in my blog. For an unemployed guy like me, every penny counts!

Gallery

I added a photo gallery to my web index. Take a look at it and post a comment here about what you think. I'm still looking for ways to improve it, maybe by making the different categories of photos collapsible or something like that. We'll see.

This could be a big week for the job search. I have my first interview with a company called AdminServer on Wednesday. It's for an IT job, so I'm not really sure what I think about it yet, but I should have a better idea after the interview. Wish me luck.

My filmmaking intership is coming up soon (June 19 - July 28). It's happening with this group called Film Brothers. The script I read is really down-to-earth and unpretentious. It's not particularly edgy or ground-breaking, in fact it's quite predictable and by the numbers, but it should be appealing to a family audience and will definitely be fun to shoot. The cast is full of 9 year old kids; the results are going to depend so much on their abilities and cooperation. I'm glad I'm not the one in charge of this operation!