Five Years

Five years ago I watched the most beautiful woman walk down the aisle of a church in Alabama. We locked teary eyes and stood together in front of our closest family while we exchanged vows. I'll never forget the fiery love I felt on that day and in the time since. Today we celebrate an anniversary, but one day is not enough to express what this relationship means to me. I've been chipping away at it, at least a little bit, each day... and I fully intend to continue.

Yikes! Sorry if my posts have been on the sappy side and not terribly modest lately. Life is good right now, and I'm proud to report it. I realize something like the announcement of R's pregnancy isn't "the biggest news" in everybody else's life, but it is the biggest, most life-changing news in ours and this blog is about our lives after all. Moving to California was big news; Having a child required a grander statement. That's all I meant with the title last time.

We're hitting a bunch of milestones this spring. Come back in about two weeks for another one...

The biggest news

I would like to announce, with so much joy and excitement, that my lovely wife and I are expecting our first child in October! Yes, I really typed that. The last few months have already been an emotional thrill ride, and it looks like there will be much of that to come.

R is doing well. She had what seemed to be a pretty typical case of morning sickness, but is feeling better, if still more tired than usual, these days. We've been trying to eat better and get enough exercise. We're both reading books about pregnancy and how to care for a child. It all sounds rather intimidating at this point, but we're going to take it one step at a time. I'm very anxious to meet this new person, but I desperately need this time to prepare and also want to make the most of life without the weight of fatherhood while I can, so I'm not exactly wishing these nine months away. The stork will arrive soon enough.

We learned the news ourselves on Valentine's Day morning while we were in Sonoma County. No, it wasn't the best timing for a weekend getaway in wine country. R had to skip the tasting part of our weekend, and I... had to cut back a bit :-). It also explains the conspicuous absence of a wine glass in the photo in this entry about the weekend. You may have also noticed my write-up was rather spare on details. I feel like the secret we've been carrying (pun somewhat intended) has put a bit of a wall between me and you, so it feels good to finally make the information public. This opens up so much more to tweet about too :-)

Among other decisions, I have to make one about the future of Midnight Toast (the blog), regarding how much detail to include about the pregnancy and our child's life. Safety and privacy are suddenly a higher priority. Maybe I'll start a limited-access family blog and reserve this one for my creative projects. Maybe not. One way or another I'll be taking a ton of photos and video, and some of them will be available in one place or another. I've already started recording a series of video interviews with R about her pregnancy and will continue with those about once a month until this baby is born. Something like that probably won't make in online, but I have a feeling our little family will enjoy watching them in the future.

Being a dad will be a huge adjustment and full of challenges, but I'm looking forward to it. Life has a way of telling you when it's time for the next phase. And following those signs has worked out pretty well for me so far, so I don't see any reason to stop. R and I are happy... scared, too, but mostly just happy.

Video backdrop series, part 10: Closing thoughts

I put together a total of nine videos for the concert backdrop. For the tenth one, the band used the exceptional "Night Chorus" music video directed by Matt Walla. You may have read some praise from me about it right here. How fun was it to see the band playing in front of images of themselves from the music video? Very fun. The video was perfect. The energy in the room was perfect. The night as a whole was perfect. And I'm not just glorifying the past. I knew this would be a night to remember while it was happening.

Since the tenth video wasn't my own, I was originally going to use this final installment of my blog series to show some clips from my footage that didn't "make the cut" for one reason or another, as there is a substantial amount of it. However, I find myself wanting to wrap up the series sooner rather than later, so pardon me if I take some short cuts here. Instead of clips, I'm going to give you some stills.

One idea that didn't find a home was a series of nature shots I took at various locations over the course of the shoot. Each contained some subtle movement (e.g. a leaf dangling from a cobweb, ripples in a stream, bugs swarming around branches, a fading sun), but it may have been too subtle to work as a backdrop. We needed exaggerated motion and contrast in order for it to be picked up by the projector and remain recognizable behind layers of stage lights. Not only were these images a little dull, they were also too literal. It felt more like stock nature footage you see between segments on PBS than an accompaniment to a rock show. See for yourself:

Then there were some alternate shots -- for backdrops that did get made -- that just weren't needed in the final edits (or were, again, too literal). These probably don't mean a lot to you because you haven't seen every shot that I did use, but here's a little sampling of my B-roll below anyway. (A little trivia: the hand in the first one belongs to R and was meant to be her cameo as she "pulls back the curtain" between the sidewalk and the trail in "Waking World," but, alas, it was too cheesy to include.)

I also have a few unused time-lapses that I'm not going to post yet. These are just some experiments that will likely make an appearance in some future, unrelated entry on this blog. They need a little more distance from this project and the right choice of music before they will be ready for viewing.

That about wraps things up then. It was a lot of work to document all of this, let alone create the backdrop videos themselves, but now that it's done I'm really glad I have a written and visual record of the project. Maybe "work" is the wrong word because I had so much fun stretching myself creatively (and technically, for that matter) to stitch together this quilt of abstract images for the concert. (Hmmmm... Why didn't I call this "The Quilt Project" instead of the "The Sweater Project"? That makes much more sense.)

Finally, I'd like to thank ThreadSpinner one more time for giving me this opportunity and so much freedom to build my own artistic endeavor on top of theirs. They took a huge risk by asking me to help shape their image at one of their most important concerts to date. There were times when I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull it off, but I've come to the other side with more confidence in my vision and a huge sense of satisfaction. The band makes for an imagination-spinning muse, one I'd like to work with again in the future.

Minneapolis is my flash-sideways

Great photo by R, eh? It was taken on Figueroa Mountain on my 31st birthday. It's sort of a companion piece to the one in this post.

I'm in Minneapolis for work this week and have a few minutes for a quick entry from my hotel room, so let's do this. And let's do it without over thinking it.

I've been feeling a little out-of-touch with you lately, and there's a complicated answer for that. Life in general has been feeling more complicated than usual lately. It's complicated. It's a Meryl Streep movie. Yawn.

It feels like my brain is degrading.

It's more difficult to connect with people than ever before. For some reason I thought it would get easier.

I recently reopened my private, written journal, but after one marathon session it has been largely neglected as well.

I'm still thinking in terms of 140 max characters. I blame Twitter. So much for writing that novel.

I want to be here and there and nowhere.

This is what I get for starting a blog entry without much of a point. I'm all over the place tonight. Let's forget this ever happened.

But first, view this beautiful woman, partially shrouded by wildflowers: