Stranger in a strange land

Sorry that blogging has been kind of low on my priority list lately. The last few months have been a mix of being really busy and being really lazy -- I'm pretty sure one causes the other -- and neither is conducive to stopping for reflection.

I started my new job on October 19th and kicked it off with the aforementioned three-week stint in Minnesota. The office is in downtown Minneapolis, but because this trip was only partially corporate-funded I slept at my younger brother's place in the very surburban Maple Grove. It was nice having an extended visit with my bro. We played some pool, drank some Irish whiskey, listened to AC/DC, etc. Can you tell he's a bachelor? Anyway, I really appreciate his and his roommate's hospitality, as three weeks is a long time to put somebody up.

I drove north to see my parents for my first weekend out there. The rain let up enough for my dad, older brother, and I to get to the hunting shack to cut the grass in preparation for the hunting season. My mom cooked some meals for me that helped break up three long weeks of eating unhealthy restaurant food. On Sunday my grandparents had me over for lunch and later I got to see my little niece in Duluth. She had no idea who I was, but she was all smiles anyway. These moments, along with some additional reconnecting with friends, were what made the three weeks away worth it on a personal level... but just barely because, man, did I miss my life -- and my wife -- in Santa Barbara.

Luckily, R flew out to see me for my second weekend away. We rented a hotel room downtown and shut the rest of the world out for a good chunk of our time together. We did get out for a walking tour (during which R took the cool, surreal photo of me above in the new Guthrie Theater), comimos unas tapas, and saw Paranormal Activity, which didn't quite live up to the hype (I recommend seeing Where the Wild Things Are instead). It was a low-key Halloween, and I'm still kicking myself because we didn't take our annual "mimic the pumpkin" photo. But I guess we were too enamored with each other at the time to care.

I could ruminate some more on the new job, but this blog once again feels too public for that. In short, it's going pretty well. Being at the office to meet the people and begin to learn the systems was absolutely necessary. There were moments, however, particularly while driving in traffic through the gray or navigating the skyway like a rat in a maze, when I started to doubt the decision. It felt like such a different world out there. There were shades of the past and possibly hints of the future in that trip, but more than anything it reminded me of how much I love my situation out here and how I'm not ready to let it go. Fortunately nobody is asking me to give that up yet, so I think taking the job was the right move. It's a career boost and has some definite long-term potential.

See some more pics from the business trip here.

Last day

Today is my last day of work for Oracle. I've decided to take a position with a company based in Minneapolis, although they are going to allow me to work from Santa Barbara as well, so the change should be mostly transparent to you.

It's not a dramatic shift in careers or anything, but coming to the decision still took some soul searching and a fair amount of lying awake in bed. I already have a great situation going here, so changing anything makes me nervous and puts it all at risk. But I think this is the right move, one that could even better satisfy both my short-term and long-term goals. As usual, I don't want to discuss all of the details of the arrangement on here, so send me an email if you would like additional info.

One of the benefits of this new job is an occasional paid trip to good ol' Minnesota. In fact I'll be spending three weeks there beginning October 19th. Yes, that is a dreadfully long time to be away from R, and she is considering a weekend trip there herself to visit me, but the opportunity to be on-site for an extended period of time seems totally necessary in order for me to get a good start with my new company before I make the shift to "virtual employee." It will also be a good chance to catch up with some old friends and family during my off-hours. I'm especially looking forward to seeing my new niece again!

The pic at the top of this entry is from a movie I made with some friends back in 2003 based on a short script I wrote about a guy who quits his job and later receives a mysterious phone call. I may have played it for some of you before. It runs about sixteen minutes, which is simply too long for anybody to watch on the web, so all you're getting now is the above poster and this foreshadowing quote from the movie: "Two weeks. It’s all over in two weeks."

Maybe the quote would have been a more relevant two weeks ago.

All that you can't leave behind, part 2

This is the season of the guest. Last weekend we had R's dad and little brother (pictured with the pirate) staying with us. My time with them was cut short, but we did hang out Friday night and all day Saturday. Activities included grilling some kebobs, hoofing it all around Santa Barbara, and hearing Threadspinner (pictured below) play at Cold Spring Tavern, a favorite venue on the side of a hill. After I jetted away, R took our guests on a whale watching tour. Word is they saw some dolphins but no whales, and as the result of a "you WILL see a whale" guarantee they received some vouchers for another chance on another day. I think we'll use them with our next set of guests (arriving in another week), so this time I'll get to come along. Expect photos. Anyway, last weekend's guests have departed. Now they are heading toward the Grand Canyon before curving back home to Minnesota. Safe travels, guys. It was good to see you.

Our Santa Barbara 2009 gallery continues to grow. You can keep up here.

I'm still in the midst of my hotel stay near the Philly airport. This business trip is different from the others I've taken. I'm not ordering scotch or eating indulgent steak dinners this time. Part of it is because I'm traveling alone. Another part of it is the fact I've been working for a more conservative company since the acquisition last summer, and to be honest I'm not sure all of their travel policies, so I'm playing it safe. Plus, in these harsh economic times, there's no need for frivolous spending, even if I feel the company owes it to me (for reasons not commented on here). Maybe I should be thankful I have a job, one that allows me to work out of my home 98% of the time.

Being back among my coworkers for the first time in eight months has been an unexpected pleasure. I had almost forgotten about some of the folks I don't work directly with anymore, and I'm sure they had begun to forget about me. I think it's important to maintain those connections. For a good stretch there I was spending more time with these people than I would with my wife. There's a camaraderie that grows out of that shared history, and it doesn't always translate over the phone or instant messenger very well. It's also the kind of thing that you don't appreciate until you've left and returned to it, if only for a few days.

You may have noticed, the title of this two-part blog entry is the name of a U2 album from a few years ago. They've been on my mind again as the release date of their new album, No Line on the Horizon, nears. It's been available for illegal download for over a week, but I'm holding out for the ritual of purchasing a hard copy on the release date and placing my full attention on it during the initial spin. I did cheat slightly, however, by previewing the album a few times (it's streaming legally on MySpace) because I frankly couldn't stop myself after hearing it could be their best work since Achtung Baby. I'll try to write some sort of analysis/reflection when the timing is right, but for now let me say there are some real gems on it. I think I'm going to be playing it A LOT.

All that you can't leave behind, part 1

Q was here! R's good friend from our time out east (and actress in my latest video) paid us a short visit last week. R gave her the whirlwind tour of SB on Wednesday. When my work day ended we drove up to Solvang where we did a wine tasting and later went out for sushi at Arigato. She left after lunch the next day. It was a quick visit, but I'm glad she made it. She was able to see SB at its sunny best, and R was able to catch up with a close friend, one of the people she misses most from Delaware.

Speaking of the east coast, I am in Philadelphia for business Sunday through Thursday of this week. I knew it was coming: Sooner or later somebody was going to ask me to return to the office, ripping me away from my own personal paradise of working from home, a home in my favorite town in the world no less. But I can deal with four days of commuting and freezing. I don't expect anybody to feel sorry for me, especially you Minnesotans.

That's my office building, snapped on the way in this morning.

The reason for my Pennsylvanian visit is to kick off a new project for a client that once employed me in St. Paul. I'm renewed and excited by the prospect of working with them again. I wouldn't be put off by a future business trip to Minnesota to see some old friends still working there (Terry, this includes you). Plus, if I could extend such a trip over a weekend, giving myself time to drive up to Duluth and meet my new niece, that would be even better. Her baptism was on Sunday, and I'm bummed I missed it.

There's more to write, including news of more visitors, but I will save it for next time. Right now I'm beat from a long day and an odd mix of the familiar and the new.

When it rains it pours

Cold and rain in Santa Barbara? Are you kidding me? Believe it or not we had a bad streak of weather... and it unfortunately coincided with my in-laws' five-day visit. Being from Minnesota, these are folks who really appreciate the sun, so I feel bad that it rained continuously for their first two days here and sporadically thereafter until they left. A sunny vacation was just not in their cards this time.

But there's more to life than weather and we still enjoyed the company! Over the weekend we managed to go for a hike, tour wine country, get out on a sailboat, and share some good meals together. Take a look at my photos from the happenings posted in this gallery.

There was one other thing that added complication to the weekend: my job. Everything I mentioned above seemed to collide with what ended up being my busiest weekend of work in probably a year. Throw in a laptop issue and some angry clients, and you've got yourself a perfect storm -- a regular clash of my personal and professional lives. I just hope my work didn't interfere with our guests' stay too much. It definitely put me on edge, but I'm hoping I didn't transmit too many bad vibes.

Things are falling back into a more serene routine now. We've got three more sets of visitors lined up during the next month, so let's see if the weather can work with us a little better from now on. It's been such a good pal in the past.

A week of winter

Well, that was a nice break from blogging, among other things. We returned from Minnesota on New Year’s Day. Our pace definitely slowed for the week that we were there. The majority of our time was split among three families with some travel in between, but it was relaxing. I'm happy to report all of our flights and drives went off without a hitch. You never know what card the weather will play in Minnesota. It was great to see everybody, eat a bunch of excellent food, and to experience some real winter without the opportunity to get tired of it.

Check out our photo gallery from the holidays. It's sort of dominated by our photogenic nephew. R gave me a new lens as a gift, and I got a lot of practice with it taking shots of that little guy. (We even caught him crawling for the very first time!) The lens has a wide aperture, so it's great for shooting in low light and for playing with a shallow depth of field. I regret not owning a lens like this sooner. The results we've been getting so far have made the price way more than worth it.

We saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button during our stay in Eveleth. The movie struck a chord with me. I think it had something to do with the emotions that seem to pervade the time I spend with my family during these bi-annual visits. As much as I enjoy my time with them, there's this underlying sadness in the way it feels like I show up only to say good-bye. The movie was about saying good-bye and how the chance to connect can be fleeting even when a relationship exists our whole lives. All of this makes me glad to have R in my life. It's nice to have somebody I don't have to say good-bye to as I don't think I could do this on my own. We returned to California together last week, and I think we have been appreciating each other's company more than ever since then.

On Friday I got a head start on the upcoming work week. Tomorrow everybody will be back in the office, so the pressure will be on to finish some things I left hanging before the holiday. I'm starting to feel like my responsibility at this job is outweighing the benefits. I love being able to work from home, but there are some things related to the recent acquisition that I'm not happy about... and it can't all be blamed on the poor economy. I probably shouldn't be writing about it here, but then again maybe it's okay if a coworker reads that I've been getting my résumé back into shape.

This weekend wasn't as productive as it could have been. I guess we're still in vacation mode. The next three or four months are going to be busy ones, so I wish I would have taken the opportunity to get more done around the house. We did have some fun though. Yesterday afternoon, for instance, we visited a winery down the street for a tasting session. 8 samplings later we found ourselves heading out the door for some tipsy furniture shopping and then a long afternoon nap. We also joined the winery's club, which means we agreed to buy so many bottles a year but also get free tastings (guests included) for as long as we're members. Now you have even more reason to visit us. Speaking of which, we have four separate groups of visitors arriving in the next few months, so that is definitely exciting!

On working from home

A few people, mostly coworkers, have been asking me how I like the new arrangement of working remotely. Well, it's too early to give any sort of long-term feelings because I've only been away from the office for a month, one week of which was spent on vacation and another working at a client site, but I can tell you it's been sort of a love/hate relationship so far. Actually, "hate" is too strong of a word. Let's say it's a love/dislike relationship.

The convenience of being able to roll out of bed and begin working in less than 15 minutes can't be beat. It also gives me the opportunity to talk to myself all I want, play music over speakers rather than headphones, get minor chores done around the house during random coffee breaks, and slip easily between modes of intense concentration and slacking off, depending on the urgency of my duties. Yes, it's easy to be distracted when the work is slow, but I make up for it by working hard other times with minimal interruption from talkative coworkers. My schedule has been on more of a get-what-needs-to-be-done-done basis than a firm following of the clock. I'm still putting in 8 hours between 6:00am and 3:30pm, but I spread out the hour and a half of break time over the course of the day. This is my preferred style of working; it's an echo of my college days, when I would study all day and all night but take plenty of breaks. The process takes longer over all, but it's more fun while it's happening.

Of course there are downsides to my arrangement too. Maybe it's because we're living in a studio apartment, complicated by the fact that my own home office furniture is still in storage, but I'm feeling a little cramped. The desk I'm using is too small for me to spread things out on, the chair isn't extremely comfortable, and I'm not getting good cell phone coverage. But these are temporary, minor drawbacks. A bigger concern is the frustration of trying to communicate with people all over the country. Time zone issues aside, I'm a visual person, so working over the phone is difficult. I prefer the email and instant messaging mediums, which are typically slower and less likely to elicit a response at all, but they allow me the opportunity to be more thorough in what I want to say and receive in conversations. But the fact remains: sometimes I want to drop by somebody's desk and bug them in person.

By the end of the day, I'm usually pretty anxious to get out of the house. So far there have been plenty of opportunities. At the very least, I get out for a jog or bike ride... and those activities have never felt so good. My social interaction doesn't extend much past R and Facebook (I finally signed up!) these days, but for some reason I'm fine with that for now. It's hard to jump into making new friends right after leaving some good ones behind, but it will happen in time. We've done all this before.

So I'm not exactly laying out on a beach with my laptop every day, as I joked before we arrived, but I do get to see the California sun often enough. It's still quite high in the sky when my work day ends.

Oh yeah -- I don't know where the specks of dust in photo above came from. I do use that keyboard every day, I swear.

Professional notes (more big news)

Here's a list of events that occurred at my job during the last week:

• I made an agreement to work remotely from southern California.


• I received the project bonus I've been waiting on for some time.


• My company announced that it is being acquired by Oracle.

On a comparatively minor note, I'm in Madison again this week, eating way too much as usual. This is my first time being the most senior member of the company out here, so I get to do the driving. Actually, it's just me and a QA guy named Giri representing the company this week. We're enjoying the perks of business travel. Tonight we drank some scotch and Smithwicks at an Irish Pub. It's been interesting chatting with him about our different perspectives of the world. He wants R and I to come stay with his family in Dubai for a visit. He told me to just book the plane tickets and he'll take care of the rest, and I believe him. Nice guy, that Giri.

It's an exciting time to be with the company. This news about them selling to "the world's largest enterprise software company" is pretty major. We are becoming a global business unit for Oracle. Our CEO, a guy who sits about 20 feet from me, will be reporting directly to the president of a company of 80,000 people. One thing is for sure: we are not a small company anymore. Our software will be the lead product or, as they put it, the "nucleus," for Oracle's entrance into the insurance industry. I'm not sure what this all means for me yet, but I'm curious to see how it all goes down. I don't personally have a lot riding on it, but it will be fun to see some of my coworkers get filthy rich.

There's something fiche-y about this sandwich

I shot another 20-second, goof-off video last weekend with the pictured sandwich, but I don't think this one is going to make it online. It was meant to be the second part of a loosely planned "fish trilogy" (the first part of which you witnessed here), but the results just didn't do it for me. Maybe if part 3 turns out well I'll go back and re-shoot part 2. Or maybe I'll just move on to something more ambitious. I'm antsy to get behind the camera again. My upcoming music video shoot, which is proving hard to schedule, should be what I need. It's definitely more "meaty" than these little tests I've been playing with.

I'm in Madison for work this week. Things are starting to feel more comfortable out here. I was really on edge during my first few business trips. Being surrounded by strangers all day, being under pressure to get some serious work done, re-learning how to sleep alone, and eating way too much at every meal all did a number on my sleep habits. Now the biggest downside is just being away from home. I miss my time with R. I was also informed today that there's a change that needs to be made to my Restaurant Week commercial because one of the restaurants dropped out at the last minute. I can't make the change right now -- and it's eating me up inside -- because I don't have the resources on my work laptop. The 30-second spot was supposed to start airing on local cable tomorrow, but now it will be delayed. It will be online eventually as well. That's another link I will owe you.

The weekend was fun, although not terribly eventful. Having enjoyed this year's Oscar nominees so much we decided to dig into past to catch others we missed the first time around. On Friday it was Amadeus, the winner of best picture in 1985. It proved to be an absorbing epic that demands a good home theater. We caught the documentary In the Shadow of the Moon on Saturday night, which kind of put the moon landings in better perspective for me. The rest of the weekend involved the usual things (not that watching movies is unusual). Oh, and I mowed the lawn for the first time of the year.

I better get to bed. There are some long days left in this week. I get back home around midnight on Thursday... and then I need to make that editing change so I can deliver the tape before work on Friday morning. There are four words that need to be removed from the voice over (in addition to the corresponding video), and I'm really hoping it doesn't need to be completely re-recorded in order to get rid of them. Excising a word from mid-sentence doesn't always work.

Man overboard!

As a reward for the extra work my team has been putting into a recent project, my company gave nine of us the afternoon off last Thursday to take a boat ride down to Chesapeake City, MD (via the Delaware River and C&D canal). We got there around mid-afternoon and proceeded to eat fresh crabs and drink beer at The Tap Room for 3 hours. It was a little before sunset when we pushed off for the ride home. That's when the day got interesting -- our boat stalled when we were about a third of the way back, and it didn't start again. A thick fog rolled in just as the sun sank, completely engulfing us. The next thing we knew we were surrounded on three sides by blackness. On the fourth was a river dredger the length of a cruise ship that was slowly swinging back and forth, to deepen the canal. It provided hazy light as we drifted dangerously closer to it before our anchor finally took effect in the 50-feet deep water. Once secure, we tried to arrange for a tow, hoping for one that would bring us all the way back to the landing from which we left. Over two hours of bobbing in place later the Coast Guard found us, with a little help from their GPS. They had called off our towboat because of the extremely poor visibility and brought us to the nearest landing themselves with only a computer screen to show them where to go. On the dock, as were waving good-bye and thanking the Coast Guard, one still-intoxicated member from our group started flailing his arms and reaching out to nothing as he fell backward into the water. "Man overboard!" yelled someone from the Coast Guard crew. Don't worry, folks, it turned out to be only three feet of water into which he was submerged. But that didn't stop everybody from panicking at first. The ex-lifeguard (current software quality assurance analyst) with us was ready to jump into the water to save the guy. Instead he dropped to his stomach and reached an arm out with a shout of "DOUG, I GOT YOU!!" Yes, it was easily the most hilarious moment of the day.

A crowded mini-van ride later we were returned to our cars in Port of Wilmington. We all managed to survive the reward trip. The technical problems and tardiness of our delivery were actually well representative of the project for which we were being rewarded. I didn't expect anything less.

Four pillows too many

I'm in Madison, Wisconsin this week for work. The expensed meals and drinks out are nice, but the long hours are a killer. When they pull you away from your family and the usual distractions found around home there is no longer an excuse to not work ALL THE TIME, except of course when we are eating dinner. My coworkers made it their goal to make me gain 20 pounds this week. Having a beer belly is a company policy.

Reflective

Guess where we found ourselves again over the weekend--in Minnesota, of course, celebrating at our final wedding of the year. This time it was one of R's friends from college getting married. We spent both nights at a hotel in downtown St. Paul, a few blocks from where I used to work. Fall is a few steps ahead out there; the city seemed notably quiet and gray. We didn't see any family over the weekend. Ironically, R's sister was waiting for us here on the east coast, and her mother is flying out tomorrow to visit for a few days. Anyway, I had a lot of fun at the wedding reception. We ate a lot, drank a lot, and danced up a storm. My stomach didn't even give me problems until the skyway walk back. You can bet it felt good to plop down on the Sleep Number bed that night. Yeah, I said Sleep Number. I couldn't decide how firm I wanted it, so I set my side of the mattress to 50. That's pretty typical of my middle-of-the-road personality.

My employer bought a popcorn machine--one of those big, carnival-style popcorn machines--and they set it up in our break room. I don't think they thought it all the way through, however. There's been a huge mess of popcorn crumbs on the floor every day since.

Speaking of work, I've been about as busy as the poor janitor who needs to sweep up all of those crumbs. I think I'm developing some good habits on this job, like how to focus, for example. There's always a commotion going on around me (remember how the low cube walls are supposed to facilitate communication?), but I'm getting better at tuning it out. With having so many things to do and time always against me, I don't have a choice but to concentrate on the task at hand. The days speed by, which I guess is good and bad.

I was thinking the other day about how the older you get, the tougher life gets and the more you appreciate the little things, like a cup of coffee at your desk or a walk in the woods or relaxing with your spouse on the couch. When you're young, you don't believe those things will ever be enough. And maybe I'm not old enough yet to not fully appreciate them either, but I see this starting to take form. Maybe some of the excitement of living drops out and the little things stand out more in their new relativity. Maybe the excitement of new experiences is eventually passed on to the next generation and the familiar is welcomed by weary parents. No, I'm not done living yet. I'm just appreciating free time and thinking about what it might be like to one day be a father. Don't read to far into that statement. I'm not hinting at anything. Seriously.

Intensity rising

I can’t sleep. That’s probably a good thing because when I walked downstairs at 2:30 AM to get a glass of water, I found the front door of our house wide open—locked, but open, swaying in the wind of the hurricane… err, tropical storm… err, tropical depression. It must not have latched and we didn’t realize. It’s times like these I’m glad we live in a somewhat suburban-looking neighborhood.

For those of you who don’t know, R is still at home. She was supposed to leave after work for Minnesota (another wedding), but the weather was responsible for a delay that would have caused her to miss her connecting flight, so she's grounded and rescheduled to leave at 7:30 this morning, which means for an early morning trip to the airport. I should be in a good condition to drive her there as long as I don’t try to go back to sleep until I return.

I’m blaming my current state of insomnia on the stress of my new job. I can’t get into too many details about it here, but it has been quite an intense week. I worked extra hours every night. The one night I had something else planned (the Sneaky Peek on Wednesday), I had to come home afterwards and put another three hours in. This is the kind of job that can take over a person’s life. I don’t want that to happen, especially not this weekend. I’ve got a to-do list a mile long for this weekend (no, it’s not the list from four entries ago), and a few of the items do involve relaxing. For instance, I just added “take a nap” to the schedule for today. I feel like I can’t quite relax until I have all of my job-related work finished off. My boss did give me an assignment for the weekend, so I have that hanging over my head. I should log on right now and get it out of the way, but I don’t want my coworkers seeing my ID next to any early morning timestamps and thinking I’m some kind of crazy workaholic. So I’ll use this time to get caught up on my web surfing instead.

I love my wife and spending an extra night with her this weekend was wonderful (we went out for Mexican food after the attempt at the airport), but I’m really looking forward to having the rest of the weekend to myself. I’m still planning to shoot one of my viral videos, but I pushed it back to Sunday because I need more time to prepare. If all goes well though, I should have a rough cut edited by the end of the long weekend. Yes, that’s right—I said long weekend. My new company, unlike my last one, actually recognizes holidays. I worked the last two Labor Days in Mobile because I chose to save my earned time off for other vacations. Now I don’t have the choice. Well, I take it back—there’s work to do if I want it. I’ll do the one assignment my boss gave me at some point this weekend, but then I’m closing my work laptop and hopefully keeping it closed.

One last thing, a plead to Ernesto: you're a big, scary storm and all, but I'm begging you please don't make the power go out for any extended period of time this weekend. I'm going to be needing electricity.

The new grind, part 2

Not only do we get free coffee at my new job, but we get to choose between coffee from Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, or Wawa. They also have this machine that apparently can make a wide variety of blends, not to mention hot chocolate or tea. Oh, and if you want soda, they have a wide selection of that too. That's just the beverages. They provide lunch as well. Each Monday they stock a fridge full of all kinds of deli meat and cheeses. They also have yogurt, chips, and cookies. And get this: on Wednesdays and Fridays they bring in lunch from a restaurant for everybody. Last week we had Mexican one day and pizza on the other. This is a great deal. I'm psyched about the food.

Another perk about this new job, as I mentioned before, is the casual environment. I started out the week wearing my nicest khakis with a long-sleeved, buttoned-downed shirt tucked into them (this was already a step down from my previous job, where I had to wear a tie every day). By the end of the week I was wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops. I wouldn't have done it, but I thought I would actually fit in better if I did since even the co-founder of the company was wearing that garb the day before. I definitely didn't look out of place. To be honest though, I didn't feel that comfortable wearing shorts. I think I'll bump my own dress code up to at least jeans for the time being. Sure it's convenient to wear whatever, but I feel more professional and productive with shoes on. Plus, most of the clothes I own are khakis and polo shirts anyway, so I might as well wear them.

Now, about the cubicles... In order to "facilitate open communication," they built the cube walls to be about three feet tall. When the guy who hired me sits at his desk, he is staring right at me. When I sit at my desk, I'm staring at my project leader, from about four feet away. There is no privacy at all. It could take some getting used to.

I think the job will work out okay. I'm a little insecure about my abilities and still not convinced a job like this plays to my strengths. It also doesn't help that everybody else at the place appears to be a workoholic. I think they are expecting a lot out of me; that can be a little daunting.

So begins another week. I'm looking forward to getting back into a regular workout schedule this week. I'm going to try to hit the gym in the mornings, before work. I also plan to set up a wireless router in our house this week. That way I can update my blog from my new laptop while hanging with R in the living room : )

The new grind, part 1

The drive to my new job takes about 35 minutes. So far commuting hasn't been so bad. It's a good chance to listen to music, if nothing else. My biggest problem with spending so much additional time in my car every day is that sooner or later I'm going to get a flat tire or stuck in heavy snow storm traffic or side-swiped on the freeway. Those are things you don't need to worry about when you are reading a book on a bus or walking to work with an iPod, both of which are nice situations I had going for me at one time, in other states, in other lives. I probably needlessly worry too much. I think it runs in my family, the Finc family of Delaware that is.

Working for AdmnServer (the "i" is intentionally left out to avoid being picked up by search engines) relates more directly to my job with Minnesota Life (aka Securian) than anything I did at the Infirmary. Actually, as far as anybody from AdmnServer is concerned, the two years I spent in Mobile didn't exist, and it would be just as well if they didn't, at least professionally, as they seemed only to make me a lazier programmer and put more distance between me and any memory of the insurance business. Everyone who works at AdmnServer came directly from either a college or an insurance company. I fall into the latter category, with a little detour along the way.

The new employee training program and just about anything else at AdmnServer is much less structured than any other job I've ever worked. I received a half-hour orientation and maybe a collective hour of job-specific tutorials during the five days I've been at the place. Otherwise they just showed me where my desk is located, introduced me to my team leader, and told me to get started. The question "Get started doing what doing what exactly?" came up in my head a few times.

Despite all of the unclarity and lack of training, I had a relatively productive week. I'm learning (mostly on my own) some things that will look really good on a resume. Those of you with an Information Technology background will know what I'm talking about when I say I've been maintaining stored procedures in a Microsoft SQL Server database, altering some Crystal Reports, and performing system testing / QA on change control. That's one half of the job. The other half I haven't really started yet, but it will involve configuring the XML business rules in the AdmnServer system to match our clients' needs.

That's it for now. Next time I'll write about the food, the cubes, and the dress code (or lack thereof).

Reading material

Yeah, I started my new job this week. Let me put in a couple more days before I give you the full report. Overall, it's going fine. The best part is the daily free lunch. The worst part is the low cube walls.

My real reason for writing tonight is to post some links to articles and sites related to Jack of Clubs. You may want to check back on some of them again as the Spring 2007 release date gets closer.

• Celluloid Siblings -- Here's an article from a local magazine focusing on the producers of the movie. It is the first of a four-part series of articles, with the next part to be about the production process of our movie.
• Evan Krape Photography -- This photographer took a bunch of nice shots during five of the days we filmed.
• O'Ferrell Productions -- This is the site belonging to the production crew. It hasn't been updated in a while, but expect a complete revamp soon. I know they have been taking a lot of photos to post on it.
• Film Brothers -- The producers' website. This one is also out of date but should be updated soon. Consider checking out the 10-second film, "The Lesson," posted there.
• Dani Englander -- Our lead actress's website.

The future and things

AdminServer called me over a week ago and told me I could still have business analyst position that I earlier turned down due to the scheduling conflict with my filmmaking internship. It seems I had called their bluff on the "now or never" ultimatum they originally gave me because it turns out they are fine with a start date of July 31 after all.

Although I haven't signed any papers yet, I did verbally agree to take the job. I feel the need to justify this decision to you because as you all know the internship is going well. It's clear I enjoy working on movies, but just because someone enjoys golf doesn't mean they can realistically run off and join the PGA Tour. Here are my reasons for accepting the job:

1) AdminServer gave me an attractive offer: my own laptop, an on-site gym, profit-sharing bonuses, an annual company-wide cruise. I was even able to negotiate a slightly higher salary, making the offer just a little bit sweeter. If this was my only reason, then you could say I sold out, but there's more.

2) The work might not be that bad. This is not mainframe programming we are talking about anymore. I'm going to get some exposure to XML and Java, and some increased interaction with users will help improve my communication skills. Also appealing is the fact that the company has a very casual environment with a lot of people my own age employed. I'd like to try working at such a place.

3) I don't have anything else lined up. The D.P. did say he would like take me on for jobs with pay after the internship is over, but that would be only part-time work at best. When I do work, it would include nights and weekends, and it would involve a lot of travel. The crew is based out of Bel Air, Maryland and works mostly in Baltimore and D.C.. In the filmmaking business, they call starting with a crew "joining the circus." That doesn't sound right for me at this stage in life. Maybe I can help with some weekend shoots if they need me, but otherwise I'm looking forward to more stability and a regular schedule.

4) I can still add my internship / grip work to my resume. Who knows what will come up in the future. The biggest sacrifice I'll be making by working for AdminServer is just losing the time and energy that I could otherwise spend looking for alternate jobs. I probably won't continue trying to break into the world of independent filmmaking, but that was never my goal in the first place. I've been looking for a corporate desk job all along; the thing is I want one in a creative environment. I'd like to be on the end that develops the ideas, maybe writes a script, and hires out the freelance film crew. My internship might give me an edge in the running for a job like that. If I don't like my new job, there's no reason I can't continue looking for something more along those lines at ad agencies or whatever.

5) The Minnesota connection with AdminServer is nice. There's a good chance I will be assigned to some Securian projects, which means I would be working with some old friends from back home over the phone and taking business trips back there. Also, if R and I decide to move back to Minnesota in the future, I would be a shoe-in for a job at Securian since I will have helped develop the software that they are learning.

Let me debunk an assumption some of you might otherwise make. I am not accepting this job due to pressure from my wife. She is very supportive of me following my dreams, even if it means I never earn another dime. In fact I think she liked telling people she was married to a filmmaker or a starving artist. Accepting the offer was my decision. This very well might be the path to fulfilling my dreams.

If you remember, I almost passed up my internship all-together to work at AdminServer back when I received their original offer. Now I'm getting the chance to do both. I would be feeling a lot of regret if I hadn't worked on the movie, but I did, and it was great. There are five days of filming left, and after that it will be a lot easier moving on.

Streets of Philadelphia

In an effort to increase my pavement pounding during my last week before beginning a full-time internship, I took a train into Philly yesterday with plans to meet some contacts I've made at an advertising agency called MBC.

Actually, the first thing I did when I arrived downtown was follow a long, windy hall to a nook in a big building close to City Hall where the Greater Philadelphia Film Office resides. These are the people that helped M. Night Shyamalan arrange for the shooting of all of his films; they are also involved with the TV show Cold Case, as well as a bunch of other projects I'm sure you've heard of that were shot in and around Pennsylvania. Anyway, I walked right in there and got only as far as the secretary. She gave me a brochure and told me to check out the website to see if there were any employment opportunities available. It was pretty much what one would expect to happen, but a worthy stop just to say I was there.

The visit at MBC was more productive. I received a tour of the place and met individually with three very helpful, knowledgable guys. They gave me a lot of hope that I can find a job that allows me to use my technical knowledge in combination with my creativity. One guy spoke my thoughts exactly when he talked about the merging technologies of digital video and personal computers. He showed me an example of an interactive video he put together and told me that Flash technology was where it was all happening right now. He said somebody with a communication/computer background could do pretty well for himself in the advertising industry. All he needs is the right opportunity. Yeah, that's what I need.

Another guy I met spoke with me about the future of the Internet. He claimed the way we surf the web is going to change dramatically in the coming years. It's going to move away from being browser-based; instead our PCs will be more fully integrated with the web, and we'll have these little translucent widgets on our desktops... I don't want to repeat the whole discussion here, but take my word for it -- it's exciting stuff. Take a look at this site for an example of what is to come: www.pageflakes.com.

MBC has a lot of creative juices flowing through it. It's a much hipper environment than anywhere I've worked, full of bright colors, dim lighting, artistic people. Knowing that a place like that exists makes me glad I passed on the AdminServer opportunity. As casual and relaxed as AdminServer looked, it was still in an uptight business without much room for stretching one's imagination.

My visit to MBC was not a job interview -- it was strictly informational -- but I hope they keep me in mind if any opportunities arise or if they hear of anybody else hiring. Commuting to Philly everyday is not ideal for me, but it would be worth it for the right job. I think I'll start targeting some ad agencies in Wilmington too. Also on my to do list: relearn Flash and Adobe After Effects.

Negotiation, or the burning of a bridge

"Don't trade your dreams for some small change."

-U2

The short of it is, I will probably not be working for AdminServer.

I started out the discussion by telling the C.O.O. that I appreciated the offer and I thought we had a good match between them and me. I listed some ways I could benefit the company and some of the ways they could benefit me. He was ready at that point to write up an agreement letter and get it out to me. I told him to hold up because I wanted to go over some of the details of the offer first.

I started with the salary. I didn't tell him this, but if I'm going to be selling out my dreams I want good money for them, not an unreasonable amount, but enough to make it worth it to me. I told him what number I had in mind and how it was justified based on my experience, and he told me that number wasn't possible. We met not quite in the middle, but closer to his figure. He didn't want to budge much at all. I probably would have been fine with the number we settled on if the rest of the negotiating went in my favor... but that's coming up.

I told him I was happy with the benefits. I did ask if they offered any tuition reimbursement but mainly because I wanted him to tell me no. This way it would look like I'm compromising on something I might want someday in the future. He told me flat out that was something they didn't offer. I told him it wasn't a deal breaker, but the following topic might be...

The start date. I told him even though I downplayed it at the interview, I've been realizing more and more over the last two days that this film project is really important to me. It's something I've always wanted to do and this might be my only opportunity to do it. I also said I made a commitment to it and meant to be good on my word. I told him I couldn't start until July 31, the Monday after the filming was complete. I was firm, and he said this was indeed a deal breaker. Because this is a unique situation and they need me now, either I start right away or I don't start. It was the same spiel he gave me at the interview. He wasn't bluffing.

I told him I could give him a call at the end of July, possibly come in for another meeting, and see if there was still a need for me at that time. He said I was welcome to call, but the impression I got was not really positive. It's pretty clear I passed up my only chance for this job. Even though this is a quickly growing company that supposedly hires a lot of entry level people, some of which only took a single class in Java in college, I think my relationship is now tainted with them and I probably won't get another offer.

I'd like to think that if I was beginning what could be a long career with this company, then it shouldn't be dependent on pushing my start date back a few weeks, but apparently they only wanted me if I could contribute to the Securian project and that window was closing fast. I have no hard feelings toward AdminServer. It was just a case of there being a rush on their end but not on mine.

I've been telling myself I have the rest of my life to work some job but not many opportunities to be on a sabbatical or hiatus like this with the chance to do something satisfying for my creative side. The Minnesota connection at AdminServer was the hardest part to give up, but otherwise I think I can find more opportunities in I.T. if I want them. I just need to see where else I can go first.

I also want to take this chance to say, making the choice I made is only possible thanks to my loving wife who has been more than supportive over this whole ordeal and is okay with me being for a bum for a while longer. She'll be at the top of my thank you list when I win my first academy award.

There you have it. Another door closed, another path chosen. It's been a few hours since the phone call, and I don't have any regrets yet. I wonder how I'll feel about it tomorrow.

On a related note, I officially began my production assistant duties this afternoon by running around Wilmington to pick up some paint, drop off supplies for an upcoming shoot at a dive bar, and find the materials needed to make a wooden sword. It's interesting work alright.

Choose your own adventure

I don't really have the time to write. I thought of the above title and just had to use it regarding my current state of affairs. This decision is killing me (or at least hurting me really bad). Both paths I can take are equally appealing and unappealing. You would think that would make the decision easy, right? Nope.

I'm going to bed. Hopefully my dreams show me some sort of sign before I wake.