40 weeks

Nobody told me we were going to get the absolute sweetest girl in the world when this whole thing started! I am such a happy, blessed, and proud papa to our little Veronica.

There's some action happening over at Three Peas, if you haven't checked it out already.

The biggest news

I would like to announce, with so much joy and excitement, that my lovely wife and I are expecting our first child in October! Yes, I really typed that. The last few months have already been an emotional thrill ride, and it looks like there will be much of that to come.

R is doing well. She had what seemed to be a pretty typical case of morning sickness, but is feeling better, if still more tired than usual, these days. We've been trying to eat better and get enough exercise. We're both reading books about pregnancy and how to care for a child. It all sounds rather intimidating at this point, but we're going to take it one step at a time. I'm very anxious to meet this new person, but I desperately need this time to prepare and also want to make the most of life without the weight of fatherhood while I can, so I'm not exactly wishing these nine months away. The stork will arrive soon enough.

We learned the news ourselves on Valentine's Day morning while we were in Sonoma County. No, it wasn't the best timing for a weekend getaway in wine country. R had to skip the tasting part of our weekend, and I... had to cut back a bit :-). It also explains the conspicuous absence of a wine glass in the photo in this entry about the weekend. You may have also noticed my write-up was rather spare on details. I feel like the secret we've been carrying (pun somewhat intended) has put a bit of a wall between me and you, so it feels good to finally make the information public. This opens up so much more to tweet about too :-)

Among other decisions, I have to make one about the future of Midnight Toast (the blog), regarding how much detail to include about the pregnancy and our child's life. Safety and privacy are suddenly a higher priority. Maybe I'll start a limited-access family blog and reserve this one for my creative projects. Maybe not. One way or another I'll be taking a ton of photos and video, and some of them will be available in one place or another. I've already started recording a series of video interviews with R about her pregnancy and will continue with those about once a month until this baby is born. Something like that probably won't make in online, but I have a feeling our little family will enjoy watching them in the future.

Being a dad will be a huge adjustment and full of challenges, but I'm looking forward to it. Life has a way of telling you when it's time for the next phase. And following those signs has worked out pretty well for me so far, so I don't see any reason to stop. R and I are happy... scared, too, but mostly just happy.

Last day

Today is my last day of work for Oracle. I've decided to take a position with a company based in Minneapolis, although they are going to allow me to work from Santa Barbara as well, so the change should be mostly transparent to you.

It's not a dramatic shift in careers or anything, but coming to the decision still took some soul searching and a fair amount of lying awake in bed. I already have a great situation going here, so changing anything makes me nervous and puts it all at risk. But I think this is the right move, one that could even better satisfy both my short-term and long-term goals. As usual, I don't want to discuss all of the details of the arrangement on here, so send me an email if you would like additional info.

One of the benefits of this new job is an occasional paid trip to good ol' Minnesota. In fact I'll be spending three weeks there beginning October 19th. Yes, that is a dreadfully long time to be away from R, and she is considering a weekend trip there herself to visit me, but the opportunity to be on-site for an extended period of time seems totally necessary in order for me to get a good start with my new company before I make the shift to "virtual employee." It will also be a good chance to catch up with some old friends and family during my off-hours. I'm especially looking forward to seeing my new niece again!

The pic at the top of this entry is from a movie I made with some friends back in 2003 based on a short script I wrote about a guy who quits his job and later receives a mysterious phone call. I may have played it for some of you before. It runs about sixteen minutes, which is simply too long for anybody to watch on the web, so all you're getting now is the above poster and this foreshadowing quote from the movie: "Two weeks. It’s all over in two weeks."

Maybe the quote would have been a more relevant two weeks ago.

Goin' out west (the big news)

A little over two years ago, when I announced our plans to relocate from Mobile to Wilmington in my old blog, I used the following song lyric from one of my favorite bands, Spoon:

In traffic we become on the way back home
Part of something bigger than just on our own.

I'm including it again now because it has become sort of a personal motto for the years-long journey around the country that R and I are making. I use the present tense in that sentence because the circle (actually, cross is more accurate) is not complete. As much as I love the city of Wilmington and the surplus of opportunity we've found here, it was never meant to be a final destination. It's a stop along the way, albeit a stop that lasted long enough for us to explore much of the upper east coast and to dive into the local culture, make some good friends, and possibly even leave a small but noticeable imprint. In some ways I think I grew more attached to this place than I did to even the Twin Cities. There is something more manageable about Wilmington. It lives up to its slogan, "A Place to be Somebody," in that it's small enough to almost be conquerable, yet large enough to feel like that would be an accomplishment. For those reasons, it will be difficult to say good-bye.

We are moving to Santa Barbara, California in June.

R is being transferred within her company, and as usual I'm along for the ride. But I am by no means dragging my feet. The biggest downside to moving around the country for R's job is that I would typically need to sacrifice my own in the process. That is not so this time. I've decided to retain my current job -- my employer is allowing me to work remotely. I will admit part of me was hoping to have to quit so I could have a few months off to enjoy the beach after the move and explore different career options, but the income will be nice to have considering the increased cost of living in Santa Barbara, and plus, there are still a few things I want to see through at this company. If I'm going to quit, I want it to be on my own terms.

R's new job sounds exciting. She's going to be helping develop organic light emitting diodes, a technology that is comparable but superior to liquid crystal displays. I'll let her tell you more about it sometime, rather than misrepresent it myself. She'll be working the afternoon shift out there, from 3pm until midnight, so there will be a schedule adjustment for us. It's a good thing I will be working out of our home, otherwise I'd never get to see her. Maybe we can eat lunch together this way anyhow.

California... I never would have guessed I'd live there one day. It's such a mythical place for me, a place from movies and Mason Jennings songs. My parents took me and my brothers out there on a vacation one summer during my high school years. We drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles along the coast. My memories are bits and pieces, but I remember being enthralled by the chance of running into stars and being inspired by the energy of the people and the beauty of the ocean.

When the possibility of moving to California first presented itself to R and me, there was no way we could resist going for it. Right now it seems like an absolutely necessary part of our life experience.

The future and things

AdminServer called me over a week ago and told me I could still have business analyst position that I earlier turned down due to the scheduling conflict with my filmmaking internship. It seems I had called their bluff on the "now or never" ultimatum they originally gave me because it turns out they are fine with a start date of July 31 after all.

Although I haven't signed any papers yet, I did verbally agree to take the job. I feel the need to justify this decision to you because as you all know the internship is going well. It's clear I enjoy working on movies, but just because someone enjoys golf doesn't mean they can realistically run off and join the PGA Tour. Here are my reasons for accepting the job:

1) AdminServer gave me an attractive offer: my own laptop, an on-site gym, profit-sharing bonuses, an annual company-wide cruise. I was even able to negotiate a slightly higher salary, making the offer just a little bit sweeter. If this was my only reason, then you could say I sold out, but there's more.

2) The work might not be that bad. This is not mainframe programming we are talking about anymore. I'm going to get some exposure to XML and Java, and some increased interaction with users will help improve my communication skills. Also appealing is the fact that the company has a very casual environment with a lot of people my own age employed. I'd like to try working at such a place.

3) I don't have anything else lined up. The D.P. did say he would like take me on for jobs with pay after the internship is over, but that would be only part-time work at best. When I do work, it would include nights and weekends, and it would involve a lot of travel. The crew is based out of Bel Air, Maryland and works mostly in Baltimore and D.C.. In the filmmaking business, they call starting with a crew "joining the circus." That doesn't sound right for me at this stage in life. Maybe I can help with some weekend shoots if they need me, but otherwise I'm looking forward to more stability and a regular schedule.

4) I can still add my internship / grip work to my resume. Who knows what will come up in the future. The biggest sacrifice I'll be making by working for AdminServer is just losing the time and energy that I could otherwise spend looking for alternate jobs. I probably won't continue trying to break into the world of independent filmmaking, but that was never my goal in the first place. I've been looking for a corporate desk job all along; the thing is I want one in a creative environment. I'd like to be on the end that develops the ideas, maybe writes a script, and hires out the freelance film crew. My internship might give me an edge in the running for a job like that. If I don't like my new job, there's no reason I can't continue looking for something more along those lines at ad agencies or whatever.

5) The Minnesota connection with AdminServer is nice. There's a good chance I will be assigned to some Securian projects, which means I would be working with some old friends from back home over the phone and taking business trips back there. Also, if R and I decide to move back to Minnesota in the future, I would be a shoe-in for a job at Securian since I will have helped develop the software that they are learning.

Let me debunk an assumption some of you might otherwise make. I am not accepting this job due to pressure from my wife. She is very supportive of me following my dreams, even if it means I never earn another dime. In fact I think she liked telling people she was married to a filmmaker or a starving artist. Accepting the offer was my decision. This very well might be the path to fulfilling my dreams.

If you remember, I almost passed up my internship all-together to work at AdminServer back when I received their original offer. Now I'm getting the chance to do both. I would be feeling a lot of regret if I hadn't worked on the movie, but I did, and it was great. There are five days of filming left, and after that it will be a lot easier moving on.