40 weeks

Nobody told me we were going to get the absolute sweetest girl in the world when this whole thing started! I am such a happy, blessed, and proud papa to our little Veronica.

There's some action happening over at Three Peas, if you haven't checked it out already.

Three lakes

We usually try to make it home to Minnesota for the Fourth of July, but that date fell between France and a big work deadline this year, so we put our visit off until the last week of July instead. It actually worked out really well. This way we were able to attend a birthday/going-away party for R's sister at Pleasant Lake and a baby shower held for us at Ely Lake. We also spent some time at Lost Lake in between... So out of 10,000 lakes, we managed to spend quality time at three of them over the course of a week, which I'd say is pretty darned good. More important than lakes, however, we saw our families and some friends. It's always a pleasure.

Our niece and nephew are becoming even more adorable than before, if that is even possible. I went a little crazy with the picture taking. I can't help it. There's something in me that wants to preserve images of these kids. Maybe it has to do with living so far away and only seeing them a few times a year. My photos of them are the ones I find myself going back to and viewing more than any others I've taken. I can't truly capture their wacky personalities, their playfulness, or their spirit of discovery with a still photo, but I can sure try.

It's funny how our perception of Minnesota, the northern part of the state especially, changes the longer we are away: the blues and greens become more vibrant; the weather, more dynamic; the mosquitoes, worse. But other things don't change, like difficult good-byes and this feeling I get when I pass through my parents' neighborhood at dusk: I'm reminded of biking around aimlessly as a kid... of playing Nerf tennis with my mom on the driveway... of launching ants into space with bottle rockets... of living in the same house as my brothers... I'm not saying one time in my life was better than another; I'm just saying the nostalgia hits me hard sometimes if I let it.

If you haven't already seen the photos from our trip, check them out here.

We're having a girl!

Here's the first of what will likely be very many photos of our daughter. We have some 3D images as well, but I'm not sure I'm ready to share those with the world yet. I kind of like the classic ultrasound look of this one. I have it on my bulletin board above my desk, and I'm enjoying thinking about who this new person might be and what her life will hold.

We're trying to keep the ultrasounds to a minimum, so this was our first of R's pregnancy at 21 weeks in. It was such a relief to hear from the doctor that our baby appeared perfectly healthy. We saw her in heart in action, measured her brain, witnessed her flexing legs... At one point she even reached up and rubbed her eye with her hand. There's a real, live human being in there!

We watched the whole ultrasound, but there was one thing the doctor noticed that we did not: the baby's sex. He wrote it down for us and sealed it up. This all happened first thing in the morning, so it was a long day of wondering what was in that envelope. Our day finally settled down around 8pm. R wanted me to look first and let her know, so that's how it went down. It was an absolutely magical moment.

The biggest news

I would like to announce, with so much joy and excitement, that my lovely wife and I are expecting our first child in October! Yes, I really typed that. The last few months have already been an emotional thrill ride, and it looks like there will be much of that to come.

R is doing well. She had what seemed to be a pretty typical case of morning sickness, but is feeling better, if still more tired than usual, these days. We've been trying to eat better and get enough exercise. We're both reading books about pregnancy and how to care for a child. It all sounds rather intimidating at this point, but we're going to take it one step at a time. I'm very anxious to meet this new person, but I desperately need this time to prepare and also want to make the most of life without the weight of fatherhood while I can, so I'm not exactly wishing these nine months away. The stork will arrive soon enough.

We learned the news ourselves on Valentine's Day morning while we were in Sonoma County. No, it wasn't the best timing for a weekend getaway in wine country. R had to skip the tasting part of our weekend, and I... had to cut back a bit :-). It also explains the conspicuous absence of a wine glass in the photo in this entry about the weekend. You may have also noticed my write-up was rather spare on details. I feel like the secret we've been carrying (pun somewhat intended) has put a bit of a wall between me and you, so it feels good to finally make the information public. This opens up so much more to tweet about too :-)

Among other decisions, I have to make one about the future of Midnight Toast (the blog), regarding how much detail to include about the pregnancy and our child's life. Safety and privacy are suddenly a higher priority. Maybe I'll start a limited-access family blog and reserve this one for my creative projects. Maybe not. One way or another I'll be taking a ton of photos and video, and some of them will be available in one place or another. I've already started recording a series of video interviews with R about her pregnancy and will continue with those about once a month until this baby is born. Something like that probably won't make in online, but I have a feeling our little family will enjoy watching them in the future.

Being a dad will be a huge adjustment and full of challenges, but I'm looking forward to it. Life has a way of telling you when it's time for the next phase. And following those signs has worked out pretty well for me so far, so I don't see any reason to stop. R and I are happy... scared, too, but mostly just happy.

Two-year-old in town

Because the wee one is not smiling in that photo, let me post one more...

...that's better.

The folks pictured above were our guests during the last week. That would be R's mom, sister, and our little nephew.

The boy is a handful! He requires constant attention and brings a ruckus with him wherever he goes, but as far as I understand, that's pretty normal for a two-year-old, so I'll let it pass :-) He's a sweet kid. We don't get to see him terribly often, and each time we do, he appears to have taken a leap forward in development. Now he's forming sentences and running so fast we can hardly keep up with him. Check out the footage below from a walk around the block to see him in action. He's a ball of energy.


Having guests is a good excuse to carry a camera when we go out and about, so I took a bunch of photos. A few of my favorites have been added to the second half of this gallery. Check them out because I'm counting on them showing you some of what we did and where we went. (This is my way of getting out of writing a full recap.)

It was good to see the in-laws. We're not used to being on the hosting side of a visit, so I hope we did okay. I was probably too distracted by work, as usual, and probably didn't make the most out of our time together, but I'm really glad they came and were able to enjoy Santa Barbara. I know R appreciated having some of her closest peeps around too.

I'll leave you with one more shot of little Ezra. What do you think... is the SoCal lifestyle going to his head?

Stranger in a strange land

Sorry that blogging has been kind of low on my priority list lately. The last few months have been a mix of being really busy and being really lazy -- I'm pretty sure one causes the other -- and neither is conducive to stopping for reflection.

I started my new job on October 19th and kicked it off with the aforementioned three-week stint in Minnesota. The office is in downtown Minneapolis, but because this trip was only partially corporate-funded I slept at my younger brother's place in the very surburban Maple Grove. It was nice having an extended visit with my bro. We played some pool, drank some Irish whiskey, listened to AC/DC, etc. Can you tell he's a bachelor? Anyway, I really appreciate his and his roommate's hospitality, as three weeks is a long time to put somebody up.

I drove north to see my parents for my first weekend out there. The rain let up enough for my dad, older brother, and I to get to the hunting shack to cut the grass in preparation for the hunting season. My mom cooked some meals for me that helped break up three long weeks of eating unhealthy restaurant food. On Sunday my grandparents had me over for lunch and later I got to see my little niece in Duluth. She had no idea who I was, but she was all smiles anyway. These moments, along with some additional reconnecting with friends, were what made the three weeks away worth it on a personal level... but just barely because, man, did I miss my life -- and my wife -- in Santa Barbara.

Luckily, R flew out to see me for my second weekend away. We rented a hotel room downtown and shut the rest of the world out for a good chunk of our time together. We did get out for a walking tour (during which R took the cool, surreal photo of me above in the new Guthrie Theater), comimos unas tapas, and saw Paranormal Activity, which didn't quite live up to the hype (I recommend seeing Where the Wild Things Are instead). It was a low-key Halloween, and I'm still kicking myself because we didn't take our annual "mimic the pumpkin" photo. But I guess we were too enamored with each other at the time to care.

I could ruminate some more on the new job, but this blog once again feels too public for that. In short, it's going pretty well. Being at the office to meet the people and begin to learn the systems was absolutely necessary. There were moments, however, particularly while driving in traffic through the gray or navigating the skyway like a rat in a maze, when I started to doubt the decision. It felt like such a different world out there. There were shades of the past and possibly hints of the future in that trip, but more than anything it reminded me of how much I love my situation out here and how I'm not ready to let it go. Fortunately nobody is asking me to give that up yet, so I think taking the job was the right move. It's a career boost and has some definite long-term potential.

See some more pics from the business trip here.

Lakes and prairies and people

There's something about Minnesota in the summer... the long-lit days under big skies, the fresh air, the sounds of loons while we sleep... It's hard to believe this is the same place we visit each Christmas, when the world looks so gray. Our vacation this July was dipped in equal parts blue, green, and gold. If the weather doesn't worsen one of these years, our perception of Minnesota might become rather inaccurate, shaped by a streak of lucky weeks.

I really enjoyed seeing our families. As much stress, money, and travel time it takes to plan and execute these trips, they always end up being worth it. Thank you very much to our hosts for taking such good care of us! The rides, the food, the comfort, and the catching-up are much appreciated.

Many a photo was taken (801 to be exact). See some of them here. I would normally be more discerning and keep the gallery smaller/stronger, but I couldn't bring myself to exclude many shots of our niece and nephew. The little darlings are so dang cute. They remind me of why I like to take photos in the first place and make me want to have kids of my own (one day).

The Winnipeg Folk Festival -- our trip within the trip -- was awesome this year as well. It had the best line-up of musicians I've seen in my five years of attendance. My absolute favorite performance was by a band called Okkervil River (you've probably already heard me yakking or tweeting about them). I had been listening to a few of their albums off and on for the last couple of years, but their concert on Saturday night still took me by surprise. I've never seen a band win over an initially uninterested crowd they way they did. The front man's "this moment, right now" speech during the final stretch of tunes captured the energy of the night and cranked the volume. It brought people to their feet, rushing to the stage with hands in the air. My list of top 5 concerts needs to make room for this one.

One last note: My little bro-in-law and I shot a quick animation test during our time on Lost Lake. Sorry, Nate-dog, it's not ready yet. I plan to work on it this weekend and will post it shortly thereafter. I'm anxious to see it too.

My niece Elise

It was such a pleasure to finally meet my beautiful new niece, Ellie, this past weekend. While she was around, taking pictures of anyone/anything else seemed irrelevant. I have a bunch more and will be posting them in a gallery next week, after we return from our trip.

We spent the holiday weekend on the Iron Range, and I'm working from our parents' houses Monday through Wednesday of this week before we head up to the Winnipeg Folk Festival with R's family. We'll be back in California next Tuesday. Stay tuned for more in-depth coverage.

Mud Brothers

How's this for a fun old film? It was recorded by my dad way back in the day, and I think it's a brilliant little piece of storytelling. The idea of capturing real moments like this (and attempting to manufacture them once in a while as well) is one of the reasons I wanted to get into video production. You are looking at some of my inspiration.

I always thought this clip would make a good character developing flashback in a larger work, possibly to demonstrate the start of a character's corruption or something. I'm not saying that's what happened to me in real life, but in some ways this does respresent my relationship with my older brother and our separate personalities. I think this piece speaks for itself.

I added the Smashing Pumpkins soundtrack and the feathered edge to increase the dreaminess of it. That's what it feels like to me when I watch it: a dream or a faded memory. I'm so glad I have this one preserved.

The 'rents

My parents were here for five nights, and I must say I really enjoyed their visit. We hit the usual Santa Barbara attractions -- wine tasting, whale watching, people watching (on the always entertaining State Street), a sunset hike up to Inspiration Point, a couple of good dinners out -- but I think the best part was simply having them around... to sit on our porch and eat oranges off the tree, to take a morning jog with my dad, to see my mom's face as she tells me about their new granddaughter. My dad kept joking about how they were going to move out here or come and visit every month, as if he expected a negative reaction out of me, but I would actually like that. I do miss them quite a bit, and since family and friends are our only real tie to Minnesota, if they all came out here we wouldn't feel compelled to move back :-)

Photos from the visit have been added to this gallery, if you want to take a look.

Okay, I'll admit it does feel good to have the place to ourselves again. That was quite the series of visitors. Now we can let the place get slightly more messy, I can have my office back full-time (since it doubles as the guest bedroom), and we can plan some new activities for our weekends. We do have some fun events coming up with new friends, so we're excited about that.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the video shoot I helped with earlier this week. Back before Christmas I met this guy with some Hollywood filmmaking experience, and he recently invited me to assist with a small-scale documentary he's working on around here. On Tuesday we met at the Museum of Natural History where we followed some kids on a nature walk. I carried the equipment along the trail for him at first, but after a while he let me take the camera and capture the kids collecting frogs and insects near a little creek. Lucky for me, he uses the same camera I own (the Canon XH-A1), so that helped with my confidence. It was a fun shoot in a gorgeous setting that inspired me to do two things (1) get outdoors more and (2) shoot more video!

All that you can't leave behind, part 2

This is the season of the guest. Last weekend we had R's dad and little brother (pictured with the pirate) staying with us. My time with them was cut short, but we did hang out Friday night and all day Saturday. Activities included grilling some kebobs, hoofing it all around Santa Barbara, and hearing Threadspinner (pictured below) play at Cold Spring Tavern, a favorite venue on the side of a hill. After I jetted away, R took our guests on a whale watching tour. Word is they saw some dolphins but no whales, and as the result of a "you WILL see a whale" guarantee they received some vouchers for another chance on another day. I think we'll use them with our next set of guests (arriving in another week), so this time I'll get to come along. Expect photos. Anyway, last weekend's guests have departed. Now they are heading toward the Grand Canyon before curving back home to Minnesota. Safe travels, guys. It was good to see you.

Our Santa Barbara 2009 gallery continues to grow. You can keep up here.

I'm still in the midst of my hotel stay near the Philly airport. This business trip is different from the others I've taken. I'm not ordering scotch or eating indulgent steak dinners this time. Part of it is because I'm traveling alone. Another part of it is the fact I've been working for a more conservative company since the acquisition last summer, and to be honest I'm not sure all of their travel policies, so I'm playing it safe. Plus, in these harsh economic times, there's no need for frivolous spending, even if I feel the company owes it to me (for reasons not commented on here). Maybe I should be thankful I have a job, one that allows me to work out of my home 98% of the time.

Being back among my coworkers for the first time in eight months has been an unexpected pleasure. I had almost forgotten about some of the folks I don't work directly with anymore, and I'm sure they had begun to forget about me. I think it's important to maintain those connections. For a good stretch there I was spending more time with these people than I would with my wife. There's a camaraderie that grows out of that shared history, and it doesn't always translate over the phone or instant messenger very well. It's also the kind of thing that you don't appreciate until you've left and returned to it, if only for a few days.

You may have noticed, the title of this two-part blog entry is the name of a U2 album from a few years ago. They've been on my mind again as the release date of their new album, No Line on the Horizon, nears. It's been available for illegal download for over a week, but I'm holding out for the ritual of purchasing a hard copy on the release date and placing my full attention on it during the initial spin. I did cheat slightly, however, by previewing the album a few times (it's streaming legally on MySpace) because I frankly couldn't stop myself after hearing it could be their best work since Achtung Baby. I'll try to write some sort of analysis/reflection when the timing is right, but for now let me say there are some real gems on it. I think I'm going to be playing it A LOT.

When it rains it pours

Cold and rain in Santa Barbara? Are you kidding me? Believe it or not we had a bad streak of weather... and it unfortunately coincided with my in-laws' five-day visit. Being from Minnesota, these are folks who really appreciate the sun, so I feel bad that it rained continuously for their first two days here and sporadically thereafter until they left. A sunny vacation was just not in their cards this time.

But there's more to life than weather and we still enjoyed the company! Over the weekend we managed to go for a hike, tour wine country, get out on a sailboat, and share some good meals together. Take a look at my photos from the happenings posted in this gallery.

There was one other thing that added complication to the weekend: my job. Everything I mentioned above seemed to collide with what ended up being my busiest weekend of work in probably a year. Throw in a laptop issue and some angry clients, and you've got yourself a perfect storm -- a regular clash of my personal and professional lives. I just hope my work didn't interfere with our guests' stay too much. It definitely put me on edge, but I'm hoping I didn't transmit too many bad vibes.

Things are falling back into a more serene routine now. We've got three more sets of visitors lined up during the next month, so let's see if the weather can work with us a little better from now on. It's been such a good pal in the past.

Welcome to the world, Elise

I'm full of baby pictures these days. This is my niece, Elise (Ellie), who was born on Thursday. Congrats to Ryan and Katie!

We're thinking she's going to be a musician because she shares a birthday with Elvis. And not only that, Ellie could be short for Elvis. Even if she doesn't decide to make music of her own, I'll bet she'll inspire it. There's already Beethoven's "Für Elise" and a great song by The Cure called "A Letter to Elise." I've been listening to that one all afternoon, thinking of the new baby, wishing I could be there to say hello.

Bread Man's mom

Happy Mother's Day, mom! Wish I could be there.

Mr. Ez

Check out the little guy. He's my new nephew, Ezra, born on March 7th by means of R's sister. Congrats, C! We are looking forward to meeting the dude later this Spring.

I'm dreaming of a gray Christmas

They’ll find us here here, here in the guest room
where we throw money at each other and cry, oh my

-from "Guest Room" by The National

I almost forgot how often the sky is gray in Minnesota. Over the course of ten days, we probably saw the sun for a total of ten minutes. Not that I mind; sunny days are overrated anyway. It would take a lot more than some gloom to ruin our bi-annual binge of food and family. The backdrop of frosted trees on gray sky was actually welcoming; it looked like home.

I had a hard time saying good-bye this time, knowing that everybody will be six months older the next time we see them and at that time we'll only see each set of family for two or so days until our next visit six months later. And then we'll repeat. The whole time we are there we are saying good-bye. I'm afraid of missing out on things and losing touch and realizing there's nothing to talk about anymore. Moving around the country is such a great experience that is giving me tons of perspective, but I don't want it to last the rest of my life. At a certain point we may have to quit waiting for a logical reason to bring us home.

Thanks to our families for the hospitality and the great gifts. We received some camping gear, a sauteuse pan, gift certificates, continued XM radio service, and the list goes on. One of the things R got me is Twin Peaks on DVD (yay!). I'm going to consume it like a large gourmet cookie: slowly, deliberately, and with immense pleasure.

2008... that's starting to sound like the future. Have a good year, everybody.

Leslie, 1916 - 2007

R's grandpa died on Monday night at his home in Sartell, MN. He lived a long time and led a good life, but it's still hard to say good-bye, especially for those close to him, such as the women pictured above. R and I were lucky enough to visit him over our 4th of July vacation, and R was able to talk to him on the phone just last Sunday.

Grandpa O. was a Navy veteran; he was an excellent speller; he liked to sing in a barber shop quartet; he gave the benediction at our wedding reception. He was much more than that too. We are sorry to see him go but happy to have had him in our lives for as long as we did.